Tag: gomenonii

How? Since when did you start to notice?

The marks I have personally embedded in your heart, covering it up in flashier burns so no one would notice, how on earth did you notice them?

――The matter of……me never being able to kill him.

I mixed in some imprints when I branded him with the marks of exile. This magic circle contains protection magic.

A magic circle that negates the attacks of those weaker than the one who engraved it. But since I was the one who branded him, it will be an invincible shield that will protect him from any fire magic for a lifetime.

Once given, no one will be able to remove it. Even if I were to be in the peak of my prime, I will be unable to remove it.

“I’m aware of everything.” said Gil-sama.

「The day I was exiled from the Luzilles was the day you gave this to me. And no matter how much you provoked me, you never intended to kill me in the first place.」

“Just like how Keika-san burned one in your palm.” With those words, my eyes naturally fall down to my own.

I conjured my fire magic without applying any protection on my skin earlier, and yet there was not a scratch anywhere.

This was inscribed by her while she hopes― begs for me to live.

Even now, my powers have diminished and my mana depleted.

Back then, I did the same thing. Burning the same thing to my onii-sama―― Wishing for him to live.

「..That’s not….I was…」

With my words of denial comes unsightly feelings I’ve been trying to bury deep in my heart.

That’s right. I…

The truth is.

Never in my wildest expectations did I…Would I…want to protect Gil-sama from the start.

I was just really afraid I might kill Gil-sama.

I truly wished he would live, so he can stop and kill me for my heinous crimes.

That was all my intention, and nothing else.

His burn and the one engraved on my hand have completely different meanings―― That was what I thought, but Keika’s wish came to mind.

The desire to keep on living was not different.

「You’ve changed a lot.」

「Gil, Olga’s just—」
「I know,  she didn’t have a choice right?」

I heard a shuffling sound behind me, as if Atlas was standing up, but I didn’t bother looking and checking behind me.

Looking up at onii-sama, I noticed how big he became. His body is so big that looking at him made me tremble a bit.

「I heard everything from Keika-san, all about what happened to your body. I couldn’t believe the medical report she gave me. So while you were asleep, I took the liberty to personally examine your body. And because of that… I was convinced. I purposely let you use magic earlier.」

Gil-sama won’t even look at me.

But his words have a clear purpose in them.

An overwhelming intent that pressures you without looking in his eyes.

「You…aren’t a mage anymore――― You won’t be able to kill anyone with magic anymore.」

The last bit of magic that I had, was eventually absorbed by the same magic circle I have applied myself on him, to be used in case of emergency.

I can’t even let 【Olga】 stay a mage anymore.

She won’t be a threat to the protagonist anymore.

「Your “vessel” is broken. No matter how well you do, your body will last only about ten years…… You’re no longer a mage, you’re powerless now. There’s no point in killing you here.」

His voice sounds like otou-sama, clear and unfeeling.

His emotionless words implied that he will let me continue to live.

This is the result of people urging for me to not be killed.

Because there are people who do not wish for me to die, this is the result of it.

――But this also means that I will be carrying the weight of the sins I have committed on my back.

This is wrong.

This is wrong, it has to be. It has to be, it has to be.^{(original is a continuous “違う” but i edited the rest to make sense”)}

This is wrong, it’s not my fault.

This is what the story dictated, this is necessary for it to develop.

This isn’t my fault.

I’m not a bad person.

Everything, all of this. Everything is for onii-sama.

From the story, it’s progress, my role, my sins, my death, everything is for onii-sama alone――― It’s not my fault.

「Even if my powers are gone, I still have my arms. If not, I still have my legs. I can still kill you… If you don’t kill me, I will kill you.」

That’s right.

I’m still alive.

Everything will be over once the 【hero】kills me.

Trivial inconsistencies in the story don’t matter anymore.

Even without using magic, I can still provoke Gil-sama in numerous ways for him to kill me. With my words, or actions, anything I can use.

It doesn’t matter if he gets injured a little, he can recuperate using healing magic anyway.

I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything I can to murder you.

If he still insists on being a goody-two-shoes and refuses to kill me, if he still insists on not fulfilling the role of the hero――― then so be it.

「I’ll kill you. Even if someone tries to stop me, with poison, with a knife, with anything, I will kill you. I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you, I’ll murder you.」
「Say Olga, do you really wish to kill me?」

Of course.

What kind of justice is it when the villains are not killed?

I didn’t live like this to support such a worthless hero.

If you didn’t move forward and trample my corpse and face the world, what point is there to 【my】existence? 

What point is there to my actions if that is not the case?

I tightly held my trembling arm, and glared at Gil-sama as if I could kill him, but he just looked at me as if he understood my gaze, and spoke in a flat voice.

「Alright then.」

Gil-sama turned around and looked down at me, his eyes horrifyingly devoid of any emotions.

Why―― How come this person looks like this?

Surprise painted my whole body.

A hero should not look like this.

They should be more emotional, their eyes should be, no matter the time of the day, filled with hope inside. They should be shining so brightly that it encourages everyone; Looking towards the future no matter the circumstances.

And yet, this person is…

This unfeeling person who looked like he has abandoned all his emotions somewhere, who the hell is he?

「A lot has happened ever since the day I entered Luzille to help you. There were numerous things I’ve always wondered about, and learned more things I didn’t know about.」

Gil-sama is the hero.

If he wishes to know about something, he will surely know about it someday.

If he doesn’t know about something, it will certainly be shown before your eyes someday.

Anything that’s necessary for him to move forward, he will surely grasp it in his hands.

「I’ve made a lot of companions, and acquired sufficient military strength. In order to block Luzille’s movements, we had to move as well. The truth is, I had plenty of chances and reasons to help you, however――」

His handsome face gave a tender impression, but his unmoving eyes emit an icy disposition.

Gil-sama tried to curve his lips to form a smile, but in the end he was unable to and his face created a distorted expression.

Like a worthless clown who couldn’t even make anybody laugh, failing to bring light to someone’s heart; A smile devoid of anything.

「You were right……You were someone who should be dead, that’s what I thought as well.」

“I’m leaving you be(to die), this is the path I chose for you.” And with that, the righteous protagonist^hero smiled a crooked smile while his beautiful verdant eyes looked down as if he was in repentance.

Greed, I don’t know how to thank you through words, so I just released this chapter part for you! Thanks so much for your kofi! Rest assured I will drown myself in Black coffee!!

Also this chapter is a bit long, so there will be another part after this

「………」

I screamed my lungs out and yet, onii-sama won’t even show any movement.

I tsked(tut-tut), and took a deep breath to continue speaking.

How can I urge you to kill me?

What words do you want me to say? What actions do I need to take for you to finally kill me?

Think about why I want to die.

I’m voicing out my desire to no longer live.

「Do you think I’m pathetic? Or are you doing this just to laugh at my misery?」

「Olga, calm down.」

「That won’t be necessary. Why won’t you just kill me huh? Kill me!」

Pushing Atlas’s body aside, I took the vase from the table beside my bed and threw it at him. But since my strength has weakened, it didn’t even reach onii-sama and it fell on the floor, shattering everywhere.

He didn’t even face me, didn’t even budge a bit amidst everything I did, as if onii-sama already knew what would happen.

Worried I might hurt my body even further, Atlas pulled me back into the bed effortlessly.

「Are you satisfied? You took everything from me, expelled me from being the clan master, are you satisfied that I’m living in misery now? Are you pleased with yourself now that you’ve reduced me to the same level as you?^{(source originally said smth like “are you satisfied that i’m in the same situation as you?” but i changed it a bit)}」

Why is everyone getting in my way?

If you just do as I say and follow what the world dictates, everyone will have a happy ending without a doubt.

This story is worthless if I’m still alive.

My role in this story requires me to die.

I may not be able to get everything I desire here, so the least I should ask for is the way I die.

「Don’t you dare take pity on me, I am of royal descent! I am a woman from Luzille! I am not of common birth like you! 」

No matter how I raised my voice, neither Atlas nor Gil-sama looked my way. 

Even though the so-called【Infernal princess】is seething in anger, they won’t even bat an eye, this influence is merely nothing now.

Biting my lips, I managed to pull my still weakened legs out of the quilt.

――They don’t think I have any strength left, that’s why they won’t even get threatened by me.

As Atlas is leaning forward, I kicked him in his shoulder, got off the bed and sprinted towards my onii-sama.

I ran faster than the pain of the broken vase embedding in my feet, faster than Atlas regaining his composure.

「I’d rather you kill me now than putting me through this misery!」

Just once.

I heard the doctor say I can use my magic one last time.

Then I’ll bet my everything on this last chance.

I clench my teeth and gather every single drop of mana from the bottom of my core, and the accumulated power heated up in my palm.

I don’t have enough mana to protect my skin, so the heat will start to burn my flesh――however, magic of this proportion can only kill one person.

Even so, if you want to protect yourself from it, you must unfailingly use magic against me.

Even a small amount (of power) is enough.

If only, even just a tiny bit of emotion, if only he showed them to me.

If you felt anger towards what I’ve done, then your magic will be more powerful due to your emotions.

As long as I adjust where he hits me,^{(source material said “hit point” but that was too rpg-esque)} I can be killed by the 【protagonist】

If I can endure (to do) that, I can be saved.

It’s as if the world is moving slowly.

The power I’ve been wringing is taking the form of flames.

Even as my body loses its power from its depths, my lips slowly form into a smile.

I’m saved. It’s the end. This is my end.

My【vessel】rustled^{(original source said ぎちり which is rustling i guess)} , making an unpleasant sound as I held up the power in my hand, and slammed it towards Gil-sama―――.

And then.

Gil-sama didn’t even budge, nor did he even try to avoid it. The fireball just disappeared.

Everything went silent.

Nobody else but me, conjured any magic.

As soon as I digested everything that had happened in my mind, my strength went out and flopped to the floor, unable to stand.

The clothing that clings to his back, did not even get scorched. He didn’t even move an inch.

Only Atlas’ exhaling behind me can be heard.

「……why」

Why didn’t you avoid it?

Nobody moved even a finger, not Gil-sama nor Atlas, except for his eyes that cast downward due to the pain.

I’m not mistaken, my fireball did hit Gil-sama.

But it disappeared before harming him.

Nobody moved in the room because they knew what would happen.

「I know about it, the magic circle carved by Olga」

I was at a loss for words when Gil-sama started to speak.

「No matter what happens, I will not be killed by a fire mage. You’re the one who decided that.」

I called out to him to confirm who he was, but I heard no reply in return. But still, there is no mistaking that he is indeed my onii-sama
That’s right. IknewitIknewitIknewit.^{(it’s a continuous そうだ but I changed the other’s meanings to make it fit)}
Atlas is with Gil-sama.
If Keika arranged everything so I would be brought over here, it’s no surprise for Atlas to call in Gil-sama for the sake of treating my burn injuries.
I don’t know why he treated my injuries, but I’m pretty sure it’s because of his nature to help those who are in need.
AlthoughI think it’s all his navieté working, that’s all I can fathom from the way this character thinks.
Nevertheless, once my injuries are almost healed up and I awaken, here he is――.

「I’ve done a lot of research on you, Olga. I can understand what you mean to do. Everything that I will be saying now is the conclusion that takes everything I gathered into account.」

My heart started to pound rapidly hearing those words.
You investigated me. If you really did what you just said, then you already know what you have to do.
Your own little sister is so aggressive and threatening that she can’t even tell right from wrong.
If you let her live, she will continue to lay her hands on countless people.
If given the chance for revenge, she won’t hesitate to try and get her hands on any of the Luzilles.

Tears began to well up in my eyes as I eagerly awaited my condemnation.
Thank god. Truly, what a relief.
I can finally turn the story back to its original course.
At last, I can finally be slain.
At last, the story can finally reach its happy ending.
At last, I can finally step down from my role.
At long last, I ‘m finally worth something――.

「Olga・Emelda・Luzille is dead. Unable to recover from the wounds inflicted to her in the battlefield, she passed away, handing over the title of clan master to her father in a succession ceremony.」
「……eh?」

My heart went cold and seemed to stop beating, with my vision narrowing.
I am, 【Olga】is, dead?
I am pretty certain that I’m still here, in front of Gil-sama.
Me being dead to the public, is not the death that I have been longing for.
If Guilford doesn’t kill me, my death will only be in vain.
The lives of countless people I have taken, they will all be in vain.
Slaying a scum of the earth like me will surely make him the hero who brought them salvation, and he will become the greatest mage in history.
It doesn’t make sense for me to be spared.

「You have to leave this country.」

――And yet, this man declares he will let me live.
This young blonde haired man who stared out the window without looking at me even once.
What are you even talking about right now?
I wanted to say something, but my mouth quickly dries up, and a wheeze just comes out.
He should be weaving his words together for me to hear, but just mumbles them to himself without facing me.

「I would really like for you to leave immediately, but it seems dangerous to do so right now. I’ll hide your existence for the time being. And once everything has cooled down, I’ll find a way for you to leave this country at once…..That should be it.」
「Ah.」

Atlas, who stood up and stepped aside, gave a mysterious nod to Gil-sama’s words.
There was no hesitation, nor any emotions in Gil-sama’s words.
His back seemed to reject any negotiations I have, as if simply ordering me what I should do.
Here I am, seemingly not having a speck of dust present, and somehow sitting on the bed with a perfect posture.
Merely being given charity, forcefully given something I don’t even want.
Why, how come?
Why is this happening to me?
Why would Keika, Otou-sama, Atlas, the Harvesters, and you. Why would you all go and willfully change from the original story?

「…y.」

Each and every one of you.
A sense of anger shakes me to my core.
A roar, an angry voice came from the back of my throat.

「Why are you trying to keep me alive?!」

You were supposed to be the one to kill me.
I was supposed to be killed by you.
That is the only way for everyone to be happy.
I glared at Atlas who was standing beside me, balled my fists which have regained a bit of strength, and bellowed from the bottom of my stomach.

「You knew everything, right? You heard everything from Atlas, didn’t you? How I killed countless innocent people for petty reasons! And yet, why are you doing this?!」

Why can’t you just kill me already?
I can’t take it anymore, you’re finally in front of me and yet…
No matter how much I lost, no matter how humiliated I was, I never gave up and got this far.

「I’ve waited for so long, too long… For the day I will finally die!!」
――I waited for you for so long and yet, why.

―――Hot.

My back is burning, and the blood inside my body seems to slowly heat up.

I can feel cold sweat slowly forming, but I can’t focus on wiping it off right now.

I just feel so hot right now.

At any rate, I wanted to drink some water. However, no matter how many times I gulped or any amount of water that brushed on my throat, the feverish heat inside me refused to be extinguished.

More. More. No matter the amount, the heat refuses to cool down and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe.

I can’t believe how long and painful death is.

I want to die.

I can’t wait to die.

I want everything to end already.

It burns, it hurts, it’s painful.

But, what seemed like an eternity of suffering for me, may not really be that long in reality.

Something cold touched my body, and at the same time, I felt the stifling heat from my body slowly disappearing, making my breathing comfortable once more.

“I’m saved” I blankly thought, a sense of relief filling my heart.

It’s alright now, I won’t die anymore.

The fever has exhausted me to the point I can no longer open my eyes but, I have a feeling that I should open them immediately.

As if someone heard my feelings, I feel some sort of power being injected in me as if to compensate for my lack of strength.

I can recognize this sensation. If I hang on to it, I’m sure I can open my eyes.

That’s right, if I open my eyes now, I’m sure I will see Keika and her worried and tear-stricken face. 

A healer sighing with relief, that his neck will continue to be attached today.

And beyond that door, are countless mages waiting for me to be safe.

I have to show them that I can still fight. Then I can go back to the battlefield and wait for that time… to finally come.

That’s why, you have to hurry and open up your eyes.^{(She’s talking to herself, hence the you)}

Clinging to this vague something, I managed to open my eyes. However, I saw my hand being clasped by another.

I wondered if the dimly glowing light was healing magic.

As I moved my gaze to the owner of this hand, the person injecting his magic in me seemed to notice my movement, and gripped my hand a little tighter.

「……Did you notice?」

I was startled by the person beyond my blurry sight, and I snapped back to my consciousness. 

It was neither one of my followers, nor is it an unknown doctor, but it was my only friend.

He gave a relieved smile and slowly let go of my hand, and called for someone about me regaining consciousness.

Contrary to Atlas’s staring at me and his long sigh of relief, I on the other hand was confused, while my heart was palpitating.

Was everything a dream just now?

But, how else could this person be in front of me right now?

「How, why?」

「The woman who was your servant told me. I was a bit late in retrieving you, but on a positive note, I’m glad no one saw us in the end.」

Those words from my only friend, whose eyes gaze relaxed and worries about me, begin to confuse my thoughts even more.

The servant he is talking about…It’s Keika, right?

What did Keika tell him?

Didn’t she say she was behind everything?

So, not only did you urge Otou-sama to move, you were also asking Atlas for help?

What on earth and to what extent was she thinking when she asked Atlas to 《retrieve》me?

…oh yea, I wonder how Keika is doing. I wonder how many days have passed since then.

As I hurriedly tried to get up from the bed, wanting to ask for an explanation, a stabbing pain ran down my back for a moment, and I choked on my own breath.

I suddenly remembered my back being burned and I stiffened―― I carefully tried to run my hand on my back but felt little pain, despite the lack of bandages wrapped around it.

Have they been healing me(my wounds)?

It was Atlas who has been healing me, there’s no doubt about it.

But healing magic is not Atlas’ specialty. He shouldn’t be able to use his spells to the extent of healing a burn injury inflicted by a sorcerer of Otou-sama’s calibre. 

I was going to ask him some questions to clear up everything, but a calmer masculine voice, not belonging to Atlas, was heard.

「The burns on your back may be gone, but I suggest you don’t move so harshly.」

I turned to face where the voice came from, and saw a young man with blonde hair.

He just looked out the window without facing me.

It was hard to recognize him at first, with the setting sun shining blindingly behind him.

However, once Atlas held me by my back and helped me sit up, I knew exactly who this person was.

This person is…

The thrill of pleasure began to run down my spine.

「Onii-sama？」